Discussion Questions #3 - Sarah Izzard

1. Why doesn't Melinda try to make any new friends?

I think that Melinda doesn't try and make any new friends because she’s scared. The only people in her life either don't seem to care about her or leave her. Her old friends won't talk to her and completely ditched her upon the assumptions of everyone else. Her new friend Heather left her as soon as she found "better" people. Her parents don't seem to care about her at least not from her point of view. With all of that in her head Melinda must feel almost worthless and is most likely too scared to make new friends because to her, everyone always leaves her in the end.

2. Why does Melinda start to skip school more often?

I think that Melinda starts skipping school more often because she feels like her life is going nowhere. Her grades in all her classes but art are low. No one talks to her and she doesn't like talking to anyone either and she mentions in the book that she doesn't see herself getting a job or growing old. With no motivation to be in class why would she want to be there? It makes sense almost but at the same time she’s never going to see these people again after high school and should focus to improve her future even if the present is not so great.

3. Why doesn't Melinda want to talk to her parents about what’s wrong even though they are obviously concerned?
 

I feel like Melinda's parents truly do care about her that they just don't know how to show it. I think that Melinda doesn't want to talk to them because it appears to her that they don't care and that they don't understand her. I think she realizes this a bit on Christmas when they give her the sketch pad and charcoal but I don't think that's enough to prove to her against all the other things that they really are there for her so she's probably a little scared to confide in them because they haven't earned her trust in her mind.

4. How does the loss of Melinda’s friendship with Heather really affect her?

The loss of her friendship with Heather really affects her and I think it really comes as a shock. To Melinda, Heather was a somewhat annoying girl almost begging for her friendship. Now that Heather has found some new people, she turns the tables on Melinda and now she's that kind of annoying girl that she doesn't really want to be around. Melinda only realizes when it's too late just how much she appreciated Heather's friendship and I think it genuinely hurt her that Heather could brush her off so easily. I'm sure that her already low self-confidence sunk a little bit lower after that.

5. If Melinda had called the police the night of the party, why wouldn't she stay to tell them what happened?

I think that Melinda's initial reaction was to call for help and that of all people surely the police could help her. She was drunk at the time and I think it inhibited her judgement so as soon as she realized that everyone was mad at her for trying to get help she didn't know what to do and decided it would be safer for her to run away and avoid peoples false accusations rather than face up to them because she got really scared. The fact that she crawled away just to get away from these people proves that she was just too scared to face anybody let alone the police.

6. What is it about Mr. Freeman that makes Melinda feel more comfortable?

I think that Melinda uses art to help her cope with all the confusion and pain she’s feeling inside and so the fact that Mr. Freeman is helping her with her art and helping her express herself and relax is making the right kind of impression on her. He is also one of the only people in her life right now not pressuring her or trying to "help" her. I think she just feels like he could be a trustworthy person or at least that he’s not out to hurt her so she just feels more comfortable around him. I also think that maybe she can relate to him because it's shown through multiple things that he’s upset sometimes, seemingly depressed, and is also using art to cope so she might feel a connection to him.

7. What is it about art that helps Melinda relax?

I think that art helps Melinda to relax because it's a way to express yourself. It's obvious she really doesn't like to or feel the need to talk very much but she's obviously full of feelings of sadness and confusion so she has to be able to let those out someway even if she’s too scared to speak. I think that she’s chosen it as her way of coping with all the feelings she has. She went through a very traumatizing experience and the fact that she seems to be pretty good at drawing might make her feel a bit proud of herself and not feel so much self hatred so that would be something to make her want to continue drawing if it's something that she can feel proud of after.

8. Why do you think Melinda suffers from such bad anxiety?

I think that Melinda suffers from bad anxiety because of the traumatic experience she went through. Because something bad happened once, she's always thinking in the back of her mind that it could easily happen again. She's very cautious with who she spends time with because she can't shake the feeling that bad things are following her everywhere she goes. I also think it’s because she won’t tell anyone what happened to her. She refuses to express her feelings about anything because I think she thinks it’s would lead to her telling them what happened. One good way to release anxiety is to talk about what's bothering you so the fact that she won't let herself speak up is probably making it all so much worse.

9. Do you think Melinda will become closer friends with David Petrakis?

I think that maybe they will become better friends and that he will be one person Melinda can learn to trust. He isn't going along with everyone else and hating her just because she called the cops so that shows he's a strong willed person and will do things of his own accord. It seems like Melinda can trust him if she wants too, maybe not with her secret but just as someone she can spend time with and not be scared around. I really hope they do become closer friends and it really seems like they will. Hopefully David is one person who can help Melinda come out of her shell.

10. What characteristics do you think most shape Melinda’s personality?

I think that Melinda's shy side shapes her personality a lot. She may come across as quiet and awkward but she's also compassionate and listens well. She cares about Heather even though Heather has not been nice to her at all. She also listens closely to Mr. Freeman who she seems to respect and because of that she's excelling in his class. I think that even though she's very shy, she has a lot of strong opinions and if presented with a good opportunity she will not hold back her opinion I think that this shapes her as well because she thinks a lot about other people and almost seems to analyse them but the fact that she’s hated throughout the whole school makes her shy and scared so she never speaks her mind. I think that once she finds the confidence to speak up about what happened, then nothing will stop her and her true personality will come through. 

-Sarah Izzard